I felt a sort of quiet desperation. Like there was nowhere left to go. All options exhausted. Me exhausted. Never strong enough. Never good enough. Never enough. Out of control. Drowning in control. Finished.
I woke every day thinking about food, what I was going to binge on; where I was going that day and what I could eat on the way, whether I was going anywhere people might see me, judge me. Then the opposing forces were there; counting, planning, weighing, deducting, diet fad after diet fad, I’ve tried everything….. how many calories would I take on board, how much exercise would be required to undo that, how far would I run, how much training would I do….
I first heard of Jo through a mutual friend….“Ha!” I thought “what could she know about my war?” But then came the urge to purge, I was terrified to think I was sliding back into a battle I had already fought. Already won.
What’s left to lose? How could I say I’ve tried everything? I haven’t tried this, I haven’t tried her.
Hope. Jo gave me hope.
She said “I promise you, whatever it is, it’s not about the food."
She took me right back to roots and stripped away the story. Jo gave me the wings and the tools I needed to fly.
No judgement, no bullshit, no deceit, just an awesome, positive visionary with a view from above, a route to freedom and a straight-talking, smiling badass cheerleader over my shoulder, with pom-poms made of fire!
The two biggest things are that after a 30 year history, I haven't binged since my first chat with Jo, I've also lost just over 3 stone without any guilt, counting, labelling of foods, obsession or control. It's so freeing and so terrifying at the same time. Also, I have become a runner. I was looking for hope, a way out of the desperation and endless spiral. Who'd have thought that one lovely lady with a massive personality and a plan could so totally turn my life around. I will forever be grateful for the gift of life that is now my truth!